Tips for playing well with others

If you're working to build a healthy relationship with someone else, be it a partner, a friend, a family member, or a coworker, you might notice that the path is fraught with bumps and detours.  For today, let's talk about the four relationship destroyers (as defined by Dr Brad at the Daily Worth):


criticism
             contempt
                             defensiveness
                                                    disengagement

Hugs never hurt, either.

If you really look at your behavior, you will note that at least one of these nasty little guys creeps in upon occasion.  Here's a quick set of tips for consciously cutting the relationship destroyers out of your life.

1) Notice when these nasties creep up on you.  Is it when you feel threatened?  When you don't get what you expect? When you're running late?  During breakfast?  When you didn't get enough sleep?

2) Ask yourself why you default to this behavior.  What is it about the situation that particularly brings these out?

3) Create a scenario in your mind where you are put in one of these aggravating situations.  Now imagine yourself responding in a different way.

4) Take action.  Instead of following your same old script the next time you're in that situation, consciously choose a different response.


Choosing a different response and creating new habits will not happen overnight, but if you can work to change your behavior consistently, you will find that the relationship in question improves significantly.

Any other ideas for changing negative behavior in your relationships?  Share below or shoot me an email.